We were alerted to “admissions” for a nearby playschool. Yes, playschools have admissions and limited slots. Part of the growing pain of being in a large city. While checking it out I noticed that the website for the playschool contained pictures of kids doing various activities. Perhaps that is obvious. But is taking consent of these kids or their parents that obvious? I doubt. Most of us don’t even blink at the thought of these occurences.
The conversation around privacy of our selves, our data and everything around it has just about picked up pace. When a cashier asks for my mobile number before entering purchase details, my denial doesn’t stump her any more. Earlier it did. At some places, I have had to walk out to have the store-person call me back and agree to bill me without the number.
We are beginning to view access requests seriously. We don’t use Facebook and Google logins that frequently any more because we know how they can be used. Truth be told I never used Facebook or Google for signing up for any app till date. I always have an email address based login method. It always seemed cumbersome but I’ve always been a bit reluctant to share more stuff than I needed to. However I ramble. The simple point I am making is that we are a lot more worldly-wise than before and have realised that we do not need to bare our entire lives and soul to everyone on the Internet. Also businesses on and off the Internet also realize that they cannot take these requirements for granted. There are explicit data privacy policies around data access and usage today. Unfortunately, we forget to provide our children with the same courtesy.
To be honest this didn’t occur to me on Day One of my kid’s existence. I had of course planned that pictures would be shared with few people and with those who requested for them. Till very recently, the primary thoughts in my head was to minimise the chance of having unknown and unsavoury people view pictures of my kid. To minimise further chances, I started asking people to delete the pictures after they received it on 1–1 messages since I wasn’t sure if they would be able to erase their phones in case of loss or theft or unwanted access. Yes I am sounding quite paranoid here but I could also go ahead and quote Andy Grove here “Only the paranoid survive”.
Several months later, when I was musing on whether it was okay to share the kid’s cute mugshots finally and because the mother in me was dying to share the funny and adorable moments, it struck me that I never knew how kiddo felt about my decision. Sure, I cannot take consent from my kid for every single thing today but these are images from the kid’s life and “timeline”. I didn’t really have the right to go ahead and share such details. Would I have been okay if my parents did this many years back? I may not have agreed with what pictures were shared with folks, or felt comfortable at them laughing at something that was still embarrassing to me. It’s my life and it is my right to share as much as I am comfortable about it — in the past or the present.
And if I can go ahead and do that for myself, it doesn’t seem fair that I do not give the same courtesy or privacy and consent to my kid. So yes I will not be sharing images on social media of my kid till I know it is fine to do so. I am not so sure people will understand or respect my requirements like the institute who is eager to advertise, or the aunt who wants to tag the entire family in a picture. But I can always request them to understand. Also from a recent article and subsequent tweet, I’m glad that I am not the only one who feels like this. And while I do not post my kid’s pictures I do not judge others who do so. I just choose not to.
This post is also available on Medium.
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